Faith as a Cage: The Starling Girl and the Weaponization of Belief

The push and pull between 'good enough' and 'good enough for God' presents an interesting dynamic in the 2023 film The Starling Girl. How can one be so devoted to God yet so ignorant of the sins they commit in the meantime while trying to uphold the word of the lord? To abandon the betterment or safety of your children to maintain the word of the lord. All these incredibly layered questions came to me while watching this film, and I cannot stop thinking about the choice of language and dialogue; I felt compelled to write about it. I have my thoughts and emotions about organized religion and its use as a means for controlling and silencing women, while at the same time admiring the faith and belief of others, and this film depicted that nuance so excellently. The Starling Girl does a great job of making you question what’s right from wrong on all accounts while acknowledging the deeper-rooted generational trauma and indoctrination that occurs in these environments.

Jem is a 17-year-old girl, played by Eliza Scanlen, who belongs to a fundamentalist Christian community. We follow her as she develops a crush on her youth pastor, Owen, that blossoms into something far less juvenile, while also navigating a complex relationship with her family’s strict rules and silent acknowledgment of her father’s addiction. There are a handful of situations going on here that allow us as an audience to understand the complexities and contradictions of the church, and also understand how indoctrination and fear are absolutely at play. As Jem works to explore her true feelings for Owen, he is simultaneously taking advantage of her immaturity and curiosity which leads them into a full-blown affair destroying his marriage and essentially her innocence. Jem finds peace in her church's dance troop where she can feel close to not only God but her own body. When she is dancing she can move and navigate her surroundings without external forces, even though the choreography and costumes must fit into their conservative values. When the dance troop is at risk of being taken away, Owen gives her back that power and we see their relationship start to bloom.

Owen, played by Lewis Pullman, offers a look into what happens when we allow men to get away with bad behavior under the guise of traditional values. According to the teachings of their church, Owen should be a father by now, a family man, and head of household. However according to the misleading words from Owen, his wife seems to be playing house, and his previous idea of marriage is not synonymous with his current reality. Therefore he finds comfort and pleasure in his inappropriate relationship with Jem, allowing himself to manipulate this fantasy into something far more tangible. Jem is not only young and presumably "pure," but she is also impressionable and he can mold her into the woman he wants to be with, and he does. He takes Jem's crush and uses it as a justification to explore his fantasies, the difference between his fantasy and Jem's is that he knows better, not just because of his age but because of the way men are brought up versus women in the church. This leads to him influencing her to sneak out past curfew, lie to her siblings and parents, and go as far to engage in sexual acts she most likely was not ready for, but due to Owen's persuasion, she simply does as she's told, similarly to how she does at home and church.

The Starling Girl depicts the devastating reality of grooming and the unspoken acceptance of emotional abuse in certain communities. Being raised as a young woman to believe that your value and purpose come from your ability to marry and reproduce is already dangerous, but when you throw a lack of experience and education into the mix, what is Jem supposed to think when her significantly older crush's feelings are reciprocated? At the same time, had Own not been married would this have been accepted by her family? They were already in the process of arranging her courtship when this entanglement began and it just so happened that Jem's parents wanted her to be courted by Owen's brother Ben. The film has an overarching theme of control and worship and how the two entities work together to suppress young women, but they also work to oppose one another. The choices of dialogue in this film emphasize the harsh discrepancies between men's and women's roles in these institutions- one prime example is when Jem's mother tells her she is "ruined" after finding out about the affair.

Jem cannot be controlled by her parents and still worships her faith the same way as she did before the affair because Owne is telling her their relationship is God's will. Meanwhile, her parents are telling her this is the work of the devil and that she is too weak to let him pollute her spirit. Laurel Parmet's direction in this film creates a sense of serenity, even in the wake of troubled waters. I felt the whimsical and woody environments heightened the sense of seclusion and isolation we see not only in the fundamentalist community but also in Jem and Owen's relationship. There are a handful of shots that perfectly depict the power imbalance between the two while shining light on the overarching power in balance within the fair itself. I found the scene in Owen's car where he takes Jem's virginity to be the most devastating piece of the film, cutting back and forth between her purity ring and his wedding band. Such a precise and intentional display of the silent acceptance of blatant sins that occur when you punish those for sins of curiosity.

This film left me with many questions, those of both faith and society, more specifically the ways we continue to punish young women for the faults of men. The Starling Girl works to illuminate the grey area of control and worship, and how raising an individual to be and act in a specific and strict fashion will naturally cause them to rebel without any real understanding. To Jem, she was simply following what she had been told to follow her whole life- God's will. Her exploration of sexuality and connection was purely innocent, it was the people around her meant to protect her who took advantage of that same innocence. Owen is not the only person to blame in this situation. Parmet's direction uncovers that veil and leaves you empathizing with each character and their unfortunate circumstance, questioning who's at fault while also acknowledging that this issue goes far beyond faith. Scanlen and Pullman's performances are captivating, I'd say the film left me speechless but it's clear it's done quite the opposite though I find myself often stopping and gapping while I type this. 

The Starling Girl is available to rent on Prime, though I am typically against renting movies on streaming services I already pay to have, I'd say this film is worth it. The push and pull between 'good enough' and 'good enough for God' is just the tip of the iceberg here. Allow yourself to watch this film and slowly unravel all the ways we as a society allow control and worship in any capacity to hinder our ability to live and experience freely, exploring curiosities without judgment or punishment. Innocence is more than a lack of purity, it's a lack of corruption. Corruption bleeds into any facets of our lives conveniences beyond politics and faith. 

Till next time, stay flirty, stay thirsty, and stay curious. Watch the Starling Girl and if you don't feel like it, watch this week's Movies I Watched This Week video available on DGM YouTube.

See you soon,

Paige B.