What Do You Want From Me?

It’s that time of year; there’s four feet of now coating my backyard; the water I leave in my car turns to ice rather than molten lava overnight; I have to start bringing an extra pair of shoes with me to work so I don’t slip on the pavement; and my sister is sending my a detailed document of all her Christmas wishes- and yes they have direct links. It’s the Holiday season, time for joy and cheer, except I’m 22 and can barely afford to shop for myself. Now I have to shop for people other than my immediate family too? I don’t know what you people want. Do you prefer a gift that's considerate, like cutlery for my mother because hers go missing on the regular. Or perhaps something materialistic, like an expensive perfume when you already have a tremendous collection. Maybe you like sentimental gifts, made with love, like a craft or something from the thrift store because that’s what’s in my budget. Seriously though, what do you want from me? Is anybody even honest when someone asks what they want for Christmas? Truthfully, I just say I’d like money because that’s simple and I need it… but I’d really love a slew of capitalistic crap like a neck massager or maybe a ridiculous bag to add to my collection. As much as I love receiving, I really love giving too. I give and share all the time, even when I don’t want to because I feel guilty saying no. That’s how I lost my JellyCat heart charm, I just gave it to a random girl at the bar who complimented it hanging on my Coach bag. Don’t worry though it has since been replaced by my sister, thank god. The season of giving is meant to be a time for people to show their love and appreciation for one another, but in reality it just evokes stress and chaos while simultaneously draining bank accounts world wide. We could sit here and divulge into the capitalist catastrophe that is ruining the bliss of Christmas, but I assume we’re all aware. Just scroll on Tik Tok for a couple minutes I’m sure you’ll get 15 ads for the Tik Top Shop. Today we are talking about gift giving, more specifically how to buy for the different people in your life. So grab a drink, get comfortable, while I breakdown gift giving. Cin Cin… let’s begin!

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even Santa Claus, because as an adult you are the one in charge of putting gifts under the tree. Life was much easier when the jolly fat man delivered gifts and I was never responsible for anything. I’ll never forget Christmas of 2012, I was 10 years old, and I had gotten tickets to see One Direction in Toronto with 5 Seconds of Summer as the opener, a once in a lifetime experience. This particular gift kick started the tradition of me crying every single Christmas morning no matter what gift I open. I am easily overwhelmed and quite emotional, so anytime I receive any kind of gift I can’t help but feel both grateful and surprised. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t enjoy being given a gift perfectly tailored to your interests and needs? My mother’s love language is gift giving. She would buy a nice little gift for anyone who’s ever assisted her in any way if she could. She always buys the most thoughtful, useful gifts for people she works with, friends, and family. My sister gets me the best possible gifts every holiday and birthday, she knows me better than anyone and it shows when I unwrap presents from her. I am so insanely jealous of people who have a natural knack for gift giving. I want to be a great gift giver so badly, but at the end of the day my wallet cannot handle that kind of devotion. I tend to write letters as a sign of appreciation. If I had an unlimited budget I know I would be crowned the queen of Christmas gift giving…but I don’t. So rather than breaking the bank on life changing gifts like concert tickets, or a new car, or designer shoes, I will be doing something a little different this year that’s fun for everyone: I have decided to thrift this Christmas. Now before you scoff and roll your eyes with malice, you should be warned- I am a great thrifter. I have found a designer at the thrift store, I have found vintage at the thrift store, but most of all I have found more than half of my frequently-complimented wardrobe at the thrift store. Not to mention all of the curated decor and previously mentioned purse collection in my room. I know a thing or two, because I have seen a thing or two. As they say, one person’s donations are another person’s treasure. People who feel uneasy about the thrifting of recycled goods are either entitled or in a higher tax bracket than myself. But before you even step in the store to buy Christmas gifts, you should know who you should and shouldn’t be buying for! So here are my holiday shopping DO’s and DON’Ts (people edition):

DO buy a gift for your close friends and family that you know will be buying for you.

DON’T buy gag gifts unless previously discussed (it’s so awkward).

DO set boundaries with friends for buying budgets, secret Santa’s, or white elephant parties.

DON’T force your friends to spend a ton of money, have a girl’s night in/out or something instead.

DON’T get your mom a robe, again.

DO wrap your gifts with fun, signature paper (bags are no fun to open).

DON’T buy your situationship a present- no label, no gift!

DO something nice for the people who support you most in life.

DON’T re-gift presents that have obviously been used or damaged.

DO be grateful for any and all gifts no matter the size (it really is the thought that counts).

DON’T get your dad an expensive bottle of liquor because he just won’t drink it for some reason.

DO thrift gifts in a fashionable manner!

There’s so much pressure around finding the perfect thing for that perfect person, luckily for me I am not burdened with romance so that’s one thing I don't have to worry about. For those of you in a relationship, remember that the gifts you buy will either last a lifetime or be returned in a box on your doorstep when you guys call it quits. On that same note, I could never justify purchasing a present for any man if I didn’t know where we stand. The main people on my purchase list include: my parents, my sister, and some of my friends. Everyone else just knows my name may be on the card, but my card was not swiped. Honestly giving isn’t, or shouldn’t be as stressful as it is. Thoughtfulness is really what counts when it comes to presents. If someone you know has been talking about something for a while and you can afford to, help them out. Gifts don’t have to be tangible, you could always provide acts of service to the loved ones in your life. I’m sure my dad would love it if I shoveled the driveway once or twice, and my mom would love it if I vacuumed every once in a while. The thought behind a gift, no matter the cost, is truly what matters. That’s partially why I have decided to thrift for Christmas, it’s so meaningful to dig through racks and racks or isles upon isles to find something wonderful for the people in your life. Anyone can go on Amazon and click purchase, believe me if I could I would. But instead I will be getting physical at the thrift store, and I will also be on the defensive with my shopping cart because instead of asking “what do you want from me?” I want someone to ask, “how did you know?!” as they unwrap the world’s most magnificent gift from yours truly. So how do you know what gift to give and what it means for the recipient, let’s break it down again:

Gifts for mom and dad, and siblings, or immediate family should say, I love you so much and I can’t thank you enough for the emotional and financial support you provide me, I could never fully repay you so here’s this.

Gifts for your closest friends that feel like family should say, my life would feel empty and lonely if you weren’t here and I don’t know how I survived before we met; I hope you enjoy this declaration of our love and friendship. Or if its a gag gift it should say, you better laugh b*tch it took forever to find this on Etsy.

Gifts for important people in your life such as favorite coworkers, friends who aren’t your besties, or acquaintances you drew in an organized Secret Santa should say, thanks for being a part of my life in whatever way you do; this may or may not be re-gifted but in a chic way. Or, Hope you like this I don’t really know you and I was hoping for my work bestie.

Finally, gifts for romantic partners should say something along the lines of, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate… (Shakespeare Sonnet 18).” If your boyfriend's gift does not reflect that kind of literature, politely decline it. And always remember if you plan on giving or receiving this season, be grateful and intentional! Don’t be like Alan Rickman in Love Actually, or Kate Winslet in The Holiday, or Serena Van Der Woodsen in Gossip Girl okay.

I hope you have the most wonderful, whimsical holiday. I hope you get all you asked for and more because you most likely deserve it. I hope you give to others and help out those who supported and helped you. Maybe you’ll meet someone special this holiday season, or finally remove the not so special ones from your life. Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, have the happiest of holidays spent with the people closest to you; family can be made and found so enjoy time with yours. Personally, I just enjoy the snow and the holiday movie marathons on cable. I also enjoy the possibility that I meet a handsome man like in all those Hallmark movies, or maybe even The Notebook (I am currently watching it now as I write this). Be grateful for any gift you receive this time of year because you never know what it costs someone else, sometimes it's more than just their own hard earned cash. Celebrate the year and all of your accomplishments with those who matter most and find a subtle way to ask them what do you want from me?! Happy Holidays from DGM to you! Till next time stay flirty, stay thirsty, and get shopping or boycott it all together, more to come as we round out 2024 so stay tuned also! Be grateful, be intentional, but most of all be the hottest at the holiday parties.

See you soon,

Paige B.