Theater Etiquette isn't a Suggestion, Don't Be the Seed that Kills the Garden.

Picture this: you have waited years to see a performance at your local theater, or a movie you have been anticipating for months is finally being released near you. You purchase a ticket with your hard-earned money; and count down the days until the show; you are so beyond excited to leave your house and see something, maybe even a concert or a comedy show. You arrive and find your seat buzzing with enthusiasm, the show starts and a couple minutes in someone’s phone goes off; or the person next to you won’t stop talking to their friend about whatever-the-fuck; or a baby starts wailing and this is a pretty raunchy show so why are they even in here; or someone is live reacting to the show, out loud; or someone is crinkling their bag of goodies only during moments of pause and silence. It completely strips you of whatever moment you’re experiencing, and it’s rude. God forbid someone sit in front of you at Hamilton and refuse to take off their heinous fedora. It’s like being in a dream and slowly realizing you’re about to wake up.

There was a time when you could go into the movie theater and be fully immersed in the performance unfolding before your eyes; uninterrupted and untainted by the people who lack an ounce of respect for the theater. At more than one point in time, patrons have gone to the theater during war, recession, and even global terror to escape from reality and experience a movie on the silver screen. However, the effects of quarantining from a global pandemic have caused a select amount of those very patrons to abandon their “Ps and Qs” when in attendance at the theater. What’s the problem? Do you need a refresher on how to behave outside the comfortable confines of your home, or are you maybe just an entitled asshole?

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Here are a handful of common- unwritten yet acknowledged- rules for theater etiquette:

• Silence your phone

• Don’t speak during the performance or screening

• If you have to leave, do so in a way that least disturbs the audience (for a live show you would typically wait until in between performances or during applause)

• No photos or video

• Respect personal space

• Avoid disruptive behavior (like kicking the seat in front of you or playing on your phone at full brightness)

• Clean up after yourself

There are different rules for concerts or comedy shows, but the overarching idea is to have respect for those around you.

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The long-term effects of the isolation of quarantine, fears and health anxiety, and assimilating back into modern society are grave. Yet, at the same time, when is Covid is no longer a justification for the behavior of some people in public, specifically the communal spaces such as the theater. Did the isolation from the Covid pandemic wipe your memory of basic manners or were you simply just never taught, because that is understandable. What I cannot manage to understand is why some adults feel the need to treat a theater-like their living room. I typically push for people to experience live performances or go see films in theaters but luckily for some of you folks streaming is an option and you should stick with it.

The last few trips I have taken to the movie theater have been bittersweet, on one hand, the movies have been so good and I love that AMC has Coke products because Pepsi- in my humble opinion- tastes like La Croix with expired syrup; on the other hand, I am sick and tired of having to listen to people speaking at full volume during the film; trash covering the floors after screening because you couldn’t manage to throw away your shit on your way out; phones illuminating the theater at random because you just couldn’t turn it off, god forbid one goes off. They tell you in the previews to silence your phone, shut up, clean up after yourself, and enjoy the show. I pay out of my pocket to go to the movies, and believe me those tickets are not cheap, but I go because I love it and my experience should not be tampered with because you lack common courtesy. “People haven’t been acting right since Covid” is no longer just an excuse for the general populous’ indecency and attitude towards performance, whether it be in a movie theater or at a live show.

Where do we draw the line? Phones? If I had it my way you wouldn’t even be allowed to bring them into a theater, but that’s dictatorial which is not what I want. If the pre-show proclamation that serves to remind you to be polite is ineffective, how are people meant to get the idea? Am I out of my depth here, is it too much to ask for you to be mindful that a theater or public venue is not your private residence and should not be treated as such either?

This issue I not limited to one age demographic or I’d happily call them out which leads to a bigger issue: there is no example to be set on how to enjoy media or live performance without unnecessary disruptions. I have previously spoken of Gen Z’s desire and yearning for the nostalgia of the past, but that yearning is not for the nostalgia of traditions by any means. They- myself included as I am Gen Z- do not want to live in a world policing their actions or beliefs, they simply yearn for the aesthetic of the past. The reason this is impossible in the year 2025 is that we no longer live in a monoculture, even though a small group of people online think we still do. If this generation wanted to experience that nostalgia from the past they would welcome community, diversity, and even courtesy. Like the courtesy of not whipping your phone out in a movie theater; recording strangers in public; or perhaps spoiling the ending of a highly anticipated film because it just might blow up online. There is no doubt in my mind that this rise of anti-intellectualism in our culture is bleeding into all other aspects of life, including shared spaces where people are meant to be mindful of one another. There is a sinister individuality complex plaguing our society and it is ruining most chances of rebuilding and maintaining community.

There cannot be nostalgia and resistance to it at the same time, though this is a very nuanced topic I think a large part of this issue traces back to the entitlement we feel due to what social media and streaming have afforded us during and post-pandemic. The constant need to place blame on one specific group for mass cultural issues doesn’t help either. If we could work together to respect one another and have respect for communal spaces maybe we would move in a more positive direction. Perhaps causing a spectacle that involved throwing popcorn and a live chicken isn’t the best way to behave in a movie theater. Personally seeing this online pissed me off, especially because women and girls are constantly scrutinized for their love and admiration for things such as movies or music, yet the young gentlemen who continue to wreak havoc in public get a slap on the wrist. I’m all for audience interactions, but in the words of Tati Westbrook, “Time and Place.”

There is a time and place for almost everything, so think about where you are before you start acting like a fool. One bad seed kills the garden, so stop being a bad seed and ruining experiences for others- especially those who sacrificed a lot to be there whether it be money or time or whatever else. Going to a shared space to experience any kind of show is not only a privilege, but it’s meant to be a fun experience. There’s nothing fun about constantly having to make exceptions for other people’s poor behavior, if you don’t respect me I can handle that, but have some respect for the people who work at these venues or events and have to clean up after you; have respect for the performers who are entertaining you; and have some respect for yourself, if you can’t go a few hours without your phone it’s okay to stay home.

As technology continues to evolve and community becomes less and less physical these spaces need to be preserved. If people continue to avoid the movie theater because every time they go they are in the presence of rude people, they’ll stop going. If people stop going to the movies or theaters they will close down and I’ll be damned if my favorite places are shut down due to a bullshit butterfly effect. Most of the time gentle parenting is not effective with adults or adolescents so I’ll say this one final time effortlessly and sternly so you don’t leave her even the slightest bit confused: don’t be an asshole or don’t leave your home, shut up and sit down and enjoy the show without ruining someone else’s enjoyment. Don’t be the seed that kills the garden.

Till next time stay flirty, stay thirsty, and be mindful of theater etiquette. Watch more movies together. Make more movies together.

See you soon,

Paige B.