A Year of Rejection and Redirection

“A crush is exactly what it sounds like: a painful, soul-pulping experience that always ends in tears… at least in my case.” Gosh, what a great way to kick off Dry Gin Martini, I can safely say that I still agree with this sentiment, to this day I am not burdened by the bittersweet, overbearing weight that is a crush. I think my last one died sometime last summer and since then I have been a free bird. Am I Broken? I Haven’t Had a Crush in Over a Year was the first blog post I ever wrote for Dry Gin Martini last year and published it on April 9th, a week later I published my second piece titled Advice for Girls Night: Close the Fridge. One year later Dry Gin Martini Has transformed into something bigger than I ever could’ve imagined and I couldn’t be more delighted and proud of what it has blossomed into over these past twelve months. I’d like to start by saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRY GIN MARTINI💋⭐️🍸🎬

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Would you believe me if I told you the that a year ago when I was trying to lock down a name for this blog it was between DGM and one other name? That other name just so happened to be “Green Scarf Girl,” let’s just say I am glad I stuck with my gut. Green scarf girl was actually a joking nickname from when I studied abroad (yeah we get it) because I wore this thrifted, fuzzy green scarf every day. GSG just doesn’t have the same ring to it as DGM.

This has been a year full of rejection and redirection, after graduating college and struggling to find a job; sending a million and one cold emails out to no avail; hearing no or nothing at all over and over and over again. It was incredibly discouraging and frustrating to constantly feel inadequate in every aspect of life- except for in my writing. Creating Dry Gin Martini was not only a challenge for me to master my own personal taste and skills but also to have physical proof that I am capable of being successful, in whatever measurement I saw fit. Building and maintaining this blog has been the most fulfilling challenge and experience of the last year and it’s so cliche to say, but it truly is just the beginning of this journey (which feels a lot more like a party).

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Vocalizing your dreams can feel embarrassing or scary at times, but there’s nothing scarier to me than giving up on them because you’re worried some outsider might find it silly. Your dreams are for you, and working towards accomplishing them should be for you as well, not for potential silent spectators. No dream is too big no matter what anyone tells you, and with that I’d like to also say that there is no such thing as a small dream either. It doesn’t matter what you want to make of your life as long as you know that you’re doing it for you and not those who surround you. I love and appreciate all of my friends and family and their unconditional love and support, obviously, but at the end of the day I know that the reason I sit down and write or film anything for Dry Gin Martini is because I genuinely enjoy it; I hope anyone reading this finds that a similar passion in something no matter what it is.

In a blog I published last year for my 22nd birthday I wrote, “When I was 16 all I wanted was to be in my 20s so I could feel like a true, mature, sexy woman. As I grew up watching television, twenty-somethings just looked so much older and cooler, while also being taller and slimmer. So imagine my surprise when I woke up April 29th, 2021, entering my twenties still standing at 5 foot 3… But, in all honesty, I think it takes a whole year to acknowledge and appreciate how much you’ve grown, matured, and changed. You don’t reap the benefits of being 21 until you wake up and you're 22, and I won’t reap the benefits of being 22 until I wake up a year from now and I’m 23. It takes time and retrospect to be able to pat yourself on the back for just living.” Now, two weeks away from turning 23 and I was absolutely correct when I said I won’t reap the benefits of being 22 until I turn 23. It’s absolutely taken me a whole year to acknowledge how amazing and transformative this blog has been, which is why it is so important to celebrate yourself and your accomplishments no matter how small they may feel at the time.

Failure is apart of life, no shit it sucks but it has to happen. Most of time time failure or rejection in the moment feels like a personal attack; a stab to chest; a boob punch- just absolute aching pain that lingers for far too long. It usually takes something grand to make us feel better about that agony, like a shopping spree or a long weekend away from home. What I’ve learned this past year in dealing with rejection is that the only true remedy is self-reflection. Maybe it’s too woo-woo for you, but for me, it’s the only real cure. My dad likes to make fun of the heaps and mounds of journals that live beside my bed, but those journals hold years and years of therapy I simply can’t afford. They also contain ideas and poems, letters of love and hate, lists upon lists upon lists, declarations, and the self-reflection I’ve needed to continue on this unknown path—blindly carrying myself toward success. Without all of those rejections, from whoever, I never would have been redirected to Dry Gin Martini (and that’s the point I’m trying to make).

This is slightly different than my usual posts and I hope it resonates with at least one person. Follow your dreams and understand that in order to accomplish them you are going to experience rejection, failure, heartbreak, and that boob-punch sensation of agony. All of that pain is necessary, whether it is to teach you a lesson or get you out of a bad situation you’ll be grateful for it someday. I was recently rejected from the Cannes Film Festival’s 3 Days in Cannes program, and right now, that wound is open and aching. But I know that—hopefully—someday in the future, I’ll better understand why and be able to move forward with grace and understanding. In the meantime, I’ll continue to work on and grow DGM for myself (and for you), because it’s what I love to do. One year in the books, and many more to come—not without sacrifice, not without pain, rejection, or failure—but it’s all for something bigger... I just have a feeling.

50 blog posts, 11 YouTube videos, 2 magazines all in 365 days. Thank you for allowing me to share this journey with you and I look forward to the future. Watch more movies together. Make more movies together. Till next time stay flirty, stay thirsty, and stay true to you and your dreams, you are the reason they’ll come true after all. Cin Cin and Happy Birthday DGM!

No act is too small. No dream is too big.

See you soon,

Paige B.

p.s I still wear that green scarf so I haven’t change too much (left January 2023, right November 2024)